Do Not Twitter From The Himalayas

May 21, 2010

I’ve said many times that this site is about gear, and it is. The site is mostly pretty impersonal aside from the odd bits of information that make it into our reviews; we’re not posting about our personal lives, relationships, deep thoughts about our next career moves too often. That said, people seem to like a little bit of personal flavor in the site, and at times I like to get my own ideas out there when the people I live with get sick of hearing me talk about them. Oh, who I am kidding, it all comes down to the fact that I’m the boss of this blog and if I feel like writing about something, I will.

So I’ve decided to revisit that ever so hypocritical topic: blogs. I’ve mentioned a few times how hard it is to find good blogs to follow because most of the ones out there tend to irritate me with their overemphasis on angst and conflict, self-involved tone, and attempts to turn the mundane into the epic. “Dude, we so gotta blog about this when we get home,” “yeah, and I’m gonna post it on my Facebook” is the running joke between me and my partner when we’re out having fun. We’re both tired of people’s spray and their intense need to share every scrap of minutia as well as their attempts to transform any mundane visit to the out of doors as a serious adventure. Those of you who think your every step is worthy of winning the Boardman-Tasker: look, we’ve all been there, we all think our adventures are fun and exciting. I’ve been guilty of this a time or two. But unless you are already a famous outdoorsperson, chances are your adventures are pretty darn normal. So tone it down a little bit, will you? Rule two: if you are blogging from your trip, you’re already doing it wrong. Writing about adventures is for doing AFTER the adventure is over, not while you’re still doing it. The fact that people can Twitter from Everest now is just heartbreaking to me. Why are you “out there” in such isolated natural beauty, if you’re just going to bring the entire Internet with you? Yeah, yeah, personal choice, I get it. But please. Just because you can bring your blogging software with you doesn’t mean you SHOULD.

If you are still determined to blog and you’re having trouble figuring out what is worth blogging about, you’re in luck! After exhaustive research and careful analysis, here are:

The Top Five Overdone Outdoor Blog Cliches According to the Head Geargal

1. Self-centeredness: Endless string of “I’m so epic” self portraits. Blogger on a mountain. Blogger on another mountain. Blogger on a trail. Blogger’s dirty feet. Blogger’s wet jacket. Bad weather endured by blogger. Sweeping vista seen by blogger and the ten thousand other people that hike to the same place every year.  Ugh. Stop. We get it, you were there.  But do we really need to know every step you take and every single activity you do?  Yes, your blog is likely about you, so you’re somewhat authorized to post All About You if you want. But step back and take a good look at your blog, or even your Twitter page. Does it seem to say  “I’m the Center of the Universe”?  Does it have the sentence “I am awesome”  on it (honest to goodness, I really have seen this more than once)?  Have you never once posted about anything but yourself? Do you think about blogging your trip while you are still DOING your trip? Do you take pictures JUST to post on your blog and show the world how extreme you are? If the answer is yes, you are officially self-centered. You should back away from the keyboard, go rejoin the real world, and interact with real people who will not let your every interaction with them be All About You.
2. Way-too-personal introspection: You don’t know everyone on the internet and they don’t know you. They cannot solve your problems. Chances are you’ll find a core group of readers who will applaud you constantly and slaver over your every achievement, giving a rah-rah go-you comment at the slightest provocation, telling you how great you are and how awesome your blog is and stay the course and thanks so much, don’t listen to the “haters” etc., etc. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that these people have any clue what they are talking about. They don’t know you, and have no idea whether you are awesome or not. If you are using your blog as therapy, please – get real therapy. Stop telling the world about your latest breakup or your imminent personal crisis, the world does not care. If it did, it would be looking at relationship blogs, not outdoor blogs.
3. Constant calling attention to injuries and/or tiredness to make things sound more epic: Yeah, we get it, you went hard yesterday and you felt it when you got up this morning, but you went hard again today anyway because you are Just Too Awesome not to. Oh, and you are at your best when conditions are at their worst, you are a walking tire commercial, we know, we know. You and everyone else who has ever gone biking in the rain or skiing in a windstorm. Look, there has never been a single time at which a person got wet and didn’t get dry again later, so just get over it. Leave the epic weather stories/injury cataloguing to Joe Simpson. He deserves it and you do not. The bar is set and you are well under it. Stop filling the internet with lame attempts to make yourself sound like a badass just because your quads are a little sore.
4. Getting too big for your britches: If you’ve developed a core readership, they are probably looking at your blog because they like your blog. Turning it into a hot zone for commercialism is such a turnoff. Look, we all want to make money from our blogs and web sites. Some people actually do it. But when a site turns into a nonstop “become a fan on Facebook” and “check out our new giveaway on Twitter!” hot mess, we lose interest, and so do a lot of other people. Stay true to the mission of your site and don’t get pulled into some weird constant media blitz.
5. Self promotion: This is a tough one. We all have to promote our blogs or else they would die. However, the best promotion is the promotion done by other people. So if you find yourself reposting about a trip you went on, over and over and over, to try to call attention to it and whatever cause you were doing it for, this is a clue that no one really cares about that particular trip. If they did, they would have picked up the story and spread it on their own. I’m sorry that no one thinks your trip is all that neat, but that’s life. Try again with a different trip. Your self-promotion is looking desperate. To this category I add that heinous crime of pointing out repeatedly that your blog made some “best blog” list somewhere on the Internet. Everyone who is surprised about making a “best blog” list really should be; not to mention they should be skeptical of the legitimacy of the “best blog” list itself. If you really do have the “best blog” you don’t need to tell your readers, they already know. So ease up on the self-promotion. If you have a successful blog, it’s a fine line to walk, I’ll give you that. A place to start: Do Twitter OR Facebook if you must do that kind of stuff. Not both. That is WAY too much.  This also applies to those who violate Cliche #1 above. Heck, this applies to just about everyone in the outdoor industry, too.  Think of all the time you could be spending developing more cool gear rather than maintaining your Facebook page!

Blogs That Do It Right

I guess if I am going to complain, I should follow up with some examples of What To Do. And here they are:

Confessions of Captain Swallowtail – Eric’s blog hits the perfect note – a blend of the mundane day-to-day happenings at Eric’s needs-a-new-name bike bags shop and the mind-blowingly awesomely truly epic trips that Eric takes from time to time. If Ed Viesturs sets the professional epic trip bar, Eric sets the amateur bar. And he sets it high, with incredible photography and one-of-a-kind travels. Eric finds it normal to carry a bike for miles through thick alders or along boulder-strewn, wave-thrashed beaches in the middle of nowhere. Eric doesn’t make a blog post about the time he broke a bike component on an afternoon ride and had to walk a mile back to the trailhead in the rain; Eric notes with characteristic understatement that his bike broke 2000 miles into the wilderness and he needed to arrange an air drop of spare parts. Eric has been known to mention occasional soreness or tiredness but since such statements all occur after evening runs that cover more ground than a typical person would cover in a backpacking trip over a three-day-weekend, I can’t help but think his “I’m a little sore” translates into “a normal human would be dead.” All brought to us on with minimalist narration, a refreshing absence of ego, and some understated humor as well. See, Eric doesn’t have to TELL us how awesome he is, we can just tell. Of course, I also know because I’ve met Eric and think he’s very cool and very nice as well, so this one I can verify personally.

Life According to Kellie – Kellie does it right, pure and simple. No angst, no dramatics, no bitching about tiredness – even though she does some of the flat out most awesome trips ever conceived, she’s never one to cry about her aching quads. She’s too busy going on more unbelievable trips. I don’t know Kellie personally but we’ve got some friends on common, all of whom have a crazy story about some intense trip with Kellie. For most people, a Kellie-style adventure is a once-in-a-lifetime trip, when for Kellie it’s pretty much her lifestyle. She lets us into her world in a matter-of-fact, straightforward way with absolutely zero of that self-deprecating tone that I have come to loathe in typical blogs from women (which pains me to say, but seems to be a common thread in a lot of women’s blogs. Blah blah blah I’m not that good, yadda yadda I was scared but so and so helped me through it, I’ll never been an expert but I can have fun, hurk. Stop it, ladies. Fly your flags proudly and stop being so precious. You don’t see this happening on dude blogs so just knock it off).

I can forgive almost any misstep on Kellie’s blog (there are, after all, a few obligatory self-portraits) because Kellie’s got the goods. I don’t even mind the self portraits because they usually feature her massive Bro skis as prominently as herself, and are always paired with Kellie’s smiling mug, the enthusiasm evident. I also like that I know some of the cast of characters in Kellie’s blog, but that’s not the only reason why I like it – mostly I am just jealous that they are friends with Kellie while I don’t even know her. I bet that being friends with Kellie is pretty darn cool.

This guy. I don’t know this guy, but if he solo skied Pioneer Peak from top to bottom with no rappelling and no downclimbing and only wrote a paragraph and a half and posted two pictures about it, I like him. I’ve seen this same trip blogged in a 2000 word, 15 picture post so I really appreciate the brevity of this version.

Steph Davis’s blog. Face it, Steph is one of the world’s biggest badasses and she does it all with a perky smile, a happy demeanor, and a friendly attitude. I’ve conversed with Steph on Twitter and I don’t know many – or, well, any – other pro climbers who are so accessible. Steph sometimes makes me rethink blogging in general, because if you’re not jumping off cliffs and gliding to a safe landing, or zipping up the Salathe Wall or some other intense climb, you’re nowhere near Steph’s level. And I’m not. Hardly any of us mere mortals are, so Steph – we’re not worthy! We’re not worthy!

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