Patagonia Vitaliti Dress
July 15, 2010
The dress obsession continues – and leads to the inevitable letdown. I thought dresses could do no wrong! They are the answer to everything! Buy thousands of them! Well, buy one more, anyway. I saw a picture of this dress in a catalog and fell victim to the siren song of the Catalog Model. She looks so great in it! It’s perfect! How can it NOT look equally great on me?
Well, er, it doesn’t. This dress doesn’t seem to know what body type it wants. It’s kind of A-line, kind of empire waist, kind of small on top and big in the middle…I don’t know. Maybe it wants a much skinnier, taller person, I thought. Then I read a consumer review from a tall woman who thought this year’s Vitaliti was too short for her; she didn’t like it either. Maybe it wants a curvier person. Who knows. All I know is that it didn’t flatter me. I’m sure there are some body types for which this dress will work well. They’re just not mine. The product info says this has a “slim fit” but on my body type it was only slim on top and on bottom. The middle was kind of boufy and pouchy (not a good look, and not a slim look either), which kind of leaves me thinking “buh?” Because of my experience with the Patagonia Bandha dress, I bought a medium instead of my usual small, but had I bought the small, I would have been mortified by the uber clinginess. Also not a good look. Well, maybe for the meatpacking district, but not for my ‘hood.
Other than that, it’s a nice, pretty dress with good features. The wrinkle-free fabric would be nice for travel and the simplicity is appealing. It’s got a helpful built in shelf bra, which, in fact, was another eye opener for me. In this review I made fun of padded bras, and the manufacturers of the item replied, letting the readers know that the padding is for concealment as much as for enhancement. Well, I never quite understood their point until now. Needless to say, the Vitaliti dress did not have enough concealment for my comfort level. And it is not a bra-friendly dress (spaghetti straps are just kind of like that, eh) so if you are the modest type, maybe this one isn’t for you either.
I’m sure there’s some lucky model girl out there who looks great in this. I look great in a lot of things, but not this. I’m disappointed, but not discouraged. Bloody, but not bowed? Whatever. Tomorrow: yet another dress review.
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