I was fixing to write something all lighthearted and fluffy today, but I just can’t. I turned on my computer and read about the fate of this poor woman, kidnapped and killed from a coffee stand. Sometimes I just can’t stand it. I can’t stand that predators like this are out there in the world, and that as women we have this special fear we carry with us like an unwanted weight. When we run, walk down a street, or sleep in our own houses, that fear is always there, even if we don’t think about it all the time. Men will never know this kind of fear.
I don’t know about you, but I have never felt this fear in the woods. As a general rule, killers don’t backpack, although there have been exceptions. A couple of years back we sent in the fire crew to escort one of our female wilderness rangers out of the woods when someone mistakenly saw a hiker he thought resembled a man on the run. (Would we have sent in the crew for a male wilderness ranger? I’m not sure about that. I hope so, to make all things equal.) The woods and mountains have always been a peaceful place for me. Sure, I worry about random snags hitting the tent, or bears, or avalanches, but all of those can be mitigated with precaution. Even my lightning paranoid friend knows that she can reduce her danger of being struck. Those risks seem tolerable, the cost of being outdoors. I can accept those.
In contrast, the streets teem with people with hard faces. You just never know. It is the uncertainty of it that makes me glad I live in a small town, although I recall years back when I helped search for a little girl who vanished from a town as small as this one. Small towns are no hedge against the psychotic.
There’s no answer to this one. It’s just a rant against something that is scary and unfair. An eighteen year old girl will not get the chance to go out in the world and live her life because a man had the power to take it. It’s enough to make me want to pack up and live as far away from “civilization” as I can get.
This has been on everyone’s mind here in Anchorage. Last night as I walked across an empty parking lot to my truck I thought about how men don’t have an understanding of this kind of pervasive fear that women must live with every single day. And very little is done about it.
As a parent of daughters, I am sick and helpless every time I read about these….how can Samantha’s parents ever recover from not only her loss but the story of how she died. Friends have asked, “Aren’t you scared for them out in the woods?” My answer has always been, “Not nearly as scared as I would be if they lived in the city.” I find no answwrs to this kind of evil, and knowing it is out there makes it so hard some days to appreciate the beauty of this world.
So many times, at least here in Alaska, the perpetrators of these killings have done it many times in the past. A jury let a guy go free a few years ago, citing lack of evidence, and of course he killed again. They got him that time, but really? He was in jail and they let him go?
I really think our nation does a VERY poor job of protecting the populace from people like that. On a really basic level, people get too many chances with no consequences.
The amount of inhumane, cruel, unfathomable and horrific stuff that humans do to other humans in this world is something I’ve come to accept as a sick reality that I just can’t give too much thought to or else it paralyzes me. I am not desensitized but I just feel like I’m so overly sensitive at times about this stuff that it’s better for me to put it out of mind…
This post really hit me. Being from Alaska, we are known for being friendly and helpful. However, in recent years I find myself getting more and more paranoid. Someone stopped on the side of the road and I’m alone? Unless its a woman, I won’t stop. I got into an argument with a male coworker about this who has no clue what it’s like to be a woman in a situation like this. He scoffed at me and said I had a legal obligation to stop and see if someone needed assistance. He did give good tips like I could call the police for a wellness check or I could stop and see if the individual was okay but only roll my window down a little. But there is always that fear when I leave the office late which is often lately. I was sickened and sad reading about Samantha and what this sicko did to her. I can’t fathom a human mind that would do things like that to another human. For the most part, I do feel safe in Anchorage, but it’s unwelcome reminders like Sam’s kidnapping and murder that remind me that monsters are out there.
Interesting perspective from another local. I actually don’t feel safe in Anchorage at all. Too many sketchy people hanging around everywhere. I have to laugh whenever Anchorage gets a “bikeable city” award because obviously the people giving it have never been threatened by Anchorage drivers or run into a lurker on the trails…happens to me all the time. It’s the only time when I tell someone where I’m going. Anchorage is full of end-of-roaders…
As far as your co-worker goes – sorry, but that guy’s an idiot.