My friend Heather is a commercial helicopter pilot, world traveler, sassmaster, and all around badass. If there’s a way to do something, Heather will know how. She’s the one you want with you if your three hour tour turns into Cast Away. If Heather needs to get a few flight hours in her helicopter, she doesn’t just fly around and look at things and rack up the minutes, she picks the most difficult maneuver she knows how to do and practices it over and over again until she’s got it down. She’s not a corner-cutter, which is good, because you don’t want your helicopter pilot cutting corners (they already get to hover in mid-air, they don’t deserve to cut corners, too). Heather accomplishes all things with audacious style and relentless precision. Her friend Anthony Chapman observed that her travel style virtually guarantees an excellent adventure, and assembled this list of travel rules for the benefit of all people. My favorite is number 22. I don’t think it applies only to airplanes and helicopters.
And now, I present to you Heather Bradshaw’s Travel Rules, courtesy of Anthony Chapman.
1). Always order a special meal on your flight–slightly better food and you are always served first.
2). Always try public transport, if all else fails get a taxi.
3). Stay awake as long as possible your first night in country.
4). On your first full day in country, get a massage.
5). Order a Martini within the first 72 hours of arrival, celebrate your entrance in style.
6). Take one day and totally eat like a little fat kid, over indulge.
7). Always take a day to relax, do nothing, remember this is endurance travel, not a sprint.
8). Always try to take the train.
9). Eat at one American fast food restaurant while traveling.
10). Always carry a lighter with you, never know when a girl or a guy will ask for a light.
11). Walk with a purpose, even if you don’t have one.
12). When caught in the rain or bad weather, sit and have a beer or a cocktail, no matter the hour.
13). When hiking in the jungle never step on a stick or grab for a vine, they could be snakes.
14). Try to walk everywhere, it maybe the only exercise you get.
15). Don’t bother with sunscreen, burn-up. After three days the pain goes away and you have a great base tan to work with.
16). Getting drunk is better at soothing a sunburn than Aloe Vera.
17). When shopping always be prepared to walk away if you don’t get your price, because three stalls down you will get your price.
18). Always book a room for only one night, even if it is nice, you never know what bumps in the night you may hear.
19). Once checked in to your room, freshen up, then go for a walk and get lost.
20). Always check, re-check, double check, and then triple check your bookings (train, airplane, bus, or boat) not only on the day of travel but right after you purchase the booking.
21). Always find something to laugh about every day.
22). If you don’t like where you landed, take off again.
23). Eat at an Irish pub or English pub while in travel status, it’s like being in a foreign country while in a foreign country.
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