*******Disclaimer: This is only MY experience. Results not typical. When using this product, you may not experience similar results. *****
To me, marriage was never the end-all of existence, a goal to be attained. There was just too much to do in life–backpack through New Zealand, jump out of a few planes, fight fires around the country. I left good men in my wake, wondering what had happened. When I finally did get married recently, it was with some reluctance and only because he really wanted to. I already knew we were going to be together forever. So I signed a piece of paper, never expecting my outdoors ways to change. And really, they haven’t too much, just in these ways:
- People expect us to be twins. They think that I am going to be trailing behind on the ski hill, playing hockey, whatever he does. (Strangely, they don’t seem to expect him to want to backpack or trail run, two things I really like to do.) When I show up somewhere without my husband, people want to know where he is. Um…doing his own thing sometimes?
- My male outdoors partners vanished into the sunset. I don’t know what to make of this, because there was no romance or hint of it involved. We were just buddies who went camping and called each other to talk about our adventures. Now when I do outdoors activities I am more likely to be doing them with women. Which is fine, but I miss my male friends and their energy sometimes.
- I don’t want to go on long epic adventures anymore. Or, let me restate: a winter in Antarctica without him doesn’t sound as fun anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I still backpack for three weeks at a time. But darn it, I miss him. One thing that didn’t change–nobody “lets” me do anything. I don’t ask, but I do tell.
- I’m a little less selfish. I’ve always been really clear with bosses, friends, and potential partners that fitness comes first, or very close to first. I’ve been known to turn down jobs, road trips and dates if one of the following existed: No good place to run, no opportunity to exercise, or if the person I was considering dating didn’t exercise. Big deal breakers! I know, neurotic. But that’s me. Now I still get in my workouts, but I am more flexible. Can’t go at ten because my husband needs help with something? I don’t break out into a panic. I was set to go for a run but he has rare time off to go skiing and wants to go with me? Fine.
- I’ve learned things. I’ve always been sort of a march-into-the-sunset, destination-oriented person. My husband is more about the experience. While I won’t change all that much, because people don’t, I’ve learned to let go some of those expectations I placed upon myself and to quit judging myself on my last run or my last peak denied. It has lessened some of the pressure I put upon myself and let me lighten up a little bit.
Otherwise, marriage hasn’t changed things too much. I haven’t become co-dependent or unwilling to go outdoors without a male escort. The main and nice difference is that now someone is watching for my return in a way that wasn’t even the same as when we were dating. It’s undefinable but different. I kind of like it. I could really get into this marriage thing.
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